I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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