if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
