my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
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