Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
