The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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