hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im holly from the hills drunk
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
