and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
