By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
