K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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