i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just invented taco cereal.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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