I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
as a side note pls kill me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
