if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
