I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
