Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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