every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
