He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
