Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
