He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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