bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
