We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
