If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
