this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
