is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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