Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
