He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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