I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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