I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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