I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
NoShamevember. You game?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
