Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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