I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
