Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize