I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?