He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck