Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
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Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.