I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.