I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!