I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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