Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
