There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
