Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
