there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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