He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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