yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
