you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
