Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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