What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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