i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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