make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize