hotel room ftw
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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