If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize