how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
