sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
