i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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