Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
