You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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