Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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