he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
