well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize