There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize