I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
